Advil should make a special blend for homebuyers

There would be a day pill, which would be mostly Advil and just the slightest bit of valium to take the edge off so you don't yell at your well-meaning, but pushy loan officer. Then the afternoon pill would have a little kick of pseudoephedrine and caffeine, because you know your sinuses are going to need it, and you'll probably be up past midnight reading, signing, and scanning a 40-page document. The night pill would have less ibuprofen and instructions to take it specifically with a glass of milk. You thought it'd have a sleep aid? Ha! No way, we're plenty tired by the end of the day. But everybody needs their calcium!